Have you ever taken time to think about your life and the purpose for which you were created? Have you ever asked yourself the tough question? Am I doing what God really called me to do? It wasn’t until recently I gave these two questions a lot of thought. I mean A lot of thought. Why am I hear and what am I really being called to do?
It seemed like my life was taking a turn. It was pulling me further away from a career I thought I would be in for the rest of my life and into a path where I had no formal training or experience. It left me torn and confused. I was torn and confused because I loved to write and encourage others but I was working as a Financial Secretary.
Writing had become so much of a passion that I wanted to spend more of my time and energy doing it but there was just one problem. It did not pay the bills.
Every morning I would wake up looking forward to the next blog post I could create all while heading to a job where I loved the people, I loved the atmosphere, the flexibility was superb but there was one thing that I struggled with. I knew deep down inside there was someone else out there more passionate, more committed, and already equipped to do my job. In other words I wasn’t passionate about what I was doing. The thrill was gone. I realized it wasn’t what I was called to do.
I was not only doing a disservice to myself but also to the staff that I worked with. I knew I wasn’t as good as someone who enjoyed the details of numbers. The time had come that I had to make a decision.
God what am I suppose to be doing? What am I called to do? I have often heard people say do that thing that you could do or would do if you never received a dime. That makes perfect sense but the problem was I needed to do something that generated income to help my husband support our family. How do you make such a difficult decision all why trusting the process, trusting God, walking in obedience. The truth is God had spoken to me at the beginning of the year. He told me this year would be a year of faith and the year he would call me out of my job. It wasn’t an easy decision. I had to ask myself would I trust God in what he was calling me to do or would I remain comfortable and never see what was on the other side.
It was scary. The fear of the unknown that can keep us from moving forward. In life, ther comes a time when your faith will be tested. The things you sing and speak about will be put on trial. Then comes the decision to walk it out or trust in one’s self. With my husband’s support.. I got out of the BOAT!
I knew I had to let go of comfortable and trust him to be my everything and that included my provider. I have said this before, it is easy to quote the scripture, to give others advice but when your turn comes to walk on water will you walk or stay in the boat? In my mind the timing did not make sense.
I have to be honest, I wrestled with the decision for months and when the time came for me to give my notice I got scared and decided not to do it. I’ll wait a few more months until we can save some more money and my husband can get his business off of the ground. I’ll wait a little while longer at least until I can get training in writing and speaking. This my friends is great wisdom but unfortunately for me it was total disobedience of what God was telling me to do.
It was time to walk away. It was time to get out of the boat. I knew I could not tell everyone what I was about to do. What? Are you out of your Mind? How will you make Money Speaking and Writing with no connections or formal experience in that area? It just didn’t make sense. I had to trust God and his leading.
On August 1st, I officially announced my resignation. I was ready to walk away from what had become comfortable to explore the next leg of my journey. I was ready to give God another YES along with every bit of uncertainty, fear, and doubt.
I know the difficulty of transition. I understand the desire to please God all while looking at the reality of your life. The truth is living for God is not easy. There can be difficulty in the YES. He doesn’t lay out all of the pieces nor does he give you all of the answers. That is why it is easier to stay in the land of comfortable than it is to get out of the boat and walk.
God knew this was not an easy decision. He never said it would be. I had to cling to his faithfulness and all that he has done in my life. This my friends is when the rubber meets the road and you must decide will you trust God or trust only in what you can see. Will you practice what you preach? Will you walk on water or remain in the boat?
Faith. It will knock on your door. Will you answer or will you pretend to not be home?
Stay Tuned as I continue this next week ……
KEEP IT POPPIN!